Restless

Recently, my family and I celebrated our husband, father and friend graduating from law school.  K.O. worked full-time and attended law school part-time for 4 1/2 years.  Well, here we are now at the end of it all, a finished goal and I don't wanna move forward.  You heard me correctly, I am fearful of moving forward.  Let me explain.

Over these past for 4 1/2 years, God has done so many wonderful and miraculous things in my soul and in my life.  Here are few to date:

• the Lord called me into full-time home ministry right before my hubby received his acceptance letter.
• the Lord has given me a heart for my home through this season.
• the Lord changed my attitude, responses and behavior towards my children.
• the Lord did miracles in my families life.
• the Lord allowed me to support my husband in the way God designed and desired it to be.
• the Lord drew me and my teenage son closer to one another.
• the Lord allowed me to forge deep, authentic and genuine relationships with women in my church and neighborhood.
• the Lord allowed me to become more faithful in areas I threw by the wayside. 
• the Lord allowed me to be engaged in both my kids schools wholeheartedly.
• the Lord allowed me to see other women embrace biblical womanhood.
• the Lord allowed me to have women come into my home weekly and eat and fellowship at the table.
• the Lord allowed me to study His Word so much!  Wow!
• the Lord allowed me to witness marriages restored and share the gospel in places I never thought I would have even shared.
• the Lord allowed me to pray, be still, and pray some more with other women weekly.
• the Lord allowed me to share the gospel and lead my son through the plan of salvation.  

Just writing this down brings tears of joy to my soul.  So, this is why I have been restless ya'll.  God did so much in this season as my girlfriend said "season of surviving", that I don't want to leave and walk into my land of promise. I felt like I didn't wanna leave "it" because I see what the Lord has done & I can't see what's in the land of promise. Ugh! Just talking about this is freeing for me right now!

So here's the deal, when I sat with the Lord and the Word and prayed with a couple of homies I pray with weekly, this is where the Lord led me. He led me right to Deuteronomy 29:1-15.  God did ALL this so that He could establish & keep me and my family as His people and so He could be our God.  Thank you LAWD!

All this was for me to know who He is for and who I am for, Him and His. Name. Alone.  So, I don't have to go into the place He has given us with fears  of will He be good, just like He was good in "survival mode"?  No, I can walk into the next season knowing not only is He good and for my good, but my heart is for Him and what He provides will be for His glory alone!  That's good ya'll!  I don't wanna take His glory!  I have struggled for years with pride and acceptance and every other baggage that comes with all this.  But, because I know I am  His and He is mine and it's all for His glory, Whew! (Shoutin' in my house right now!)

What about you? Are you in a season or space in life where you are doubting & questioning..."Does God really have good for me?"  Are you in a space where your heart feels like surviving is better than the land of promise?

Ponder: Read Deuteronomy 29:1-15.

Pause:  Answer the following question(s) above.

Petition:  Tell Him. Listen. Do.

xoxo