Thoughts on A 'Mommy Slump'

Hey! Come on In! (cyberspace kisses comin' right at ya)

 I am so happy you decided to drop on over and chit chat with me today.  A few days ago I shared a post about sending your family out into the world. If you didn't read it here's your chance.  Ok, now that that's settled, I talked about facing some 'teen growing pains' as I like to call them.  Well, these growing pains put me right in a 'mommy slump'.  Let me explain. I created a definition for it because I couldn't find one. (take that Merriam-Websters)

mommy slump (n.)
1. the ability to fall heavily into a somber, annoyed, frustrated or 'blah' state due to circumstances or situations outside of ones control.

As I researched articles online about the 'mommy slump' I got NOTHING that proved itself to be beneficial.  The articles provided me with how to escape, not how to deal and embrace what was going on within my heart and mind.  So, I questioned my own heart, "How did I get here? What has led me to this point and how do I get out of the slump (or ditch) and see daylight?"

My findings began to take me to a place of deliverance and freedom.  I found out that I was in a spiritual battle for my heart to stay connected to the Lord, to my teenage son and to choose joy even while my heart & my flesh weren't feelin' joyful.  It's difficult to stay connected to the Lord when there is Cleveland overcast, Daylight Savings Time change, challenges with teenagers, challenges with little children, and the rest of the day-to-day responsibilities as a woman, wife and mom.

So, here's the question;
How have I been staying connected and how can you do the same?  Great question!

1.  Communion with The Word: 
That's right.  It NEVER changes.  I have to have meetings with Jesus daily.  Yes, I said 'meetings'.  That is plural.  He is the source.  In moments when I felt like my heart and mind were being attacked towards who I am, I have leaned in to the book of Hebrews to carry me and remind of who HE is and who I am by grace alone.  It is faith alone that will carry the one whose soul is anchored alone in Christ!  Let Christ carry whatever is weighing on your soul.

2.  Connection with Community:
I CANNOT say enough about the importance of authentic, transparent and spiritually rooted relationships.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up."  I am thankful for homies that will listen.  Not just girlfriends that will listen but, will pray, fast and whatever else.  They come alongside me to lift my arms and pick me up out of the 'mama' slump so we can press forward together. No 'mama' left behind!

3.  Courage to love others despite what I see:
This has been a process.  This courage looks like faithful diligence to engage my teenage son daily, despite my selfish desire not to. (It's real.  Sometimes I just don't feel like it.)  You know if you take 'i.s.' out of the selfish, the words can transform into the word "flesh".  And that's EXACTLY what was rising up within me, my flesh.  Flesh is a sinful nature that can operate from "I deserve..." instead of "How can I serve..."  I love how Paul put it in Romans 12:9, "Love must be without hypocrisy.  Detest evil; cling to what is good."  Well, what does this love look like?  Galatians2:19-20, one of my favorite bible verses reads, "For through the law I have died to the law, so that I might live for God.  I have been crucified with Christ and I (Te'Sheba) no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body , I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ was polar opposite of how my heart can feel.  Instead of being selfish, CHRIST was selfless! (slap some wide-eyed emoji cons right here!)

Ladies, here's my challenge to you that was given to me by my mentor ( I love you if you are reading this).  Thirty days. Three. Zero. That's right. 30 days of having courage to encourage that difficult spouse, teenager, child, sibling, boss, etc.  You know who your person is.  And if their isn't a person that is difficult, just encourage one person for 30 days straight.

Join me as I take the next 30 days on this blog, instagram and/or facebook to share some journal entries, time with God and matters of the heart toward how God wants me to courageously encourage my teenage son.

Comment below if you are on board with me.

xoxo,
Sheb

Ponder: Meditate on Hebrews 3, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Romans 12:9, Galatians 2:19-20 and Journal your thoughts.

Pause: Think about where you are in your heart right now.  Are you selfish or selfless?

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.

3 Ways To Send Your Family Out Daily Into The World

Wassup Ya'll,

I'm back! Yes, I did miss you.  I have been trying to become more consistent in every area of my life and I tell you, it definitely comes with challenges.  So, here am I.  A couple of weeks ago one of my mentors challenged me to a 30-day encouragement with my teenage son.  I was like, Whaaaaa!!! Then shortly after I said yes.  My son and I had been going through some "teen growing pains" and it just worked me over.  Don't worry, I am writing another post this week about it.  You will soon understand my heart in this matter.  Well, needless to say as she pumped life back into my fatigued soul, she said, "Te'Sheba you should just encourage your son for just 30 days and see what happens."  So here I stand and I tell you it has been so convicting and encouraging all at the same time.

You see, when our children are in the younger years we have no problem loving on them, cheering them on and encouraging them when they make mistakes.We just call it sinful innocence. But, when those teen years come it. is. a. completely. different. ball game.  TRUST ME!  So as I left my "come to Jesus" meeting and after she wheeled me back onto the court to play the game of  'Fighting For Your Teenager's Heart', the Holy Spirit spoke.

The Lord reminded me of why I said "Yes, Lord" to being in my home full-time and being intentional in my home.  He took me right back to Deuteronomy 6: 4-9( read it here ).  Fireworks starting going off in my soul.  I cried out to the Lord,"Well how am I suppose to implement this scripture passage with this 30-day challenge?"  And you know what happened next?  He answered.  Three simple ways to send my family out daily into the world.  Nothing super difficult when you hear it, but it takes the Holy Spirit's power to be faithful in doing it daily.  So here they are:

(Thanks Nicole Carlisle @ radicalthreadsoflife for this gorgeous pic)

1.  Speak life into them: 

I CANNOT say enough about the importance of affirming who they are & whose they are.  K.O. & I were very intentional in naming our children and I have began to try my best to remind them of it daily.  One time, my son got out the car when I was dropping him off for school and Giselle (my daughter of Promise) said, "Mom aren't you gonna tell him who he is ?"  I said, "I'm so sorry.  I forgot.  And proceeded to tell him who he is." Yes, you see I said 'is' and not 'was'.  My husband and my children get enough of people telling them who they were, but I see and know them for who they are.  SPEAK LIFE!

2.  Bless them with breakfast:

I know mornings are busy, but I can't say enough about how you handing your spouse a homemade smoothie, your teenage son a bagel with meat and your little(s) oatmeal or pre-made waffle batter will say, "Home is where my belly and my soul are nourished and satisfied."  Bless them by feeding them.

3.  Lay hands or kisses on them:  

I am not really a "touchy-feely" person.  But, as the years have progressed I have seen how my behaviors and actions have effected my oldest son.  There have been difficult stretches where I have not laid hands on my son's shoulders or even patted his head.  Bam, I am guilty.  And, even more broken admittedly, kissed my man K.O. before he left for work or returned home.  I am guilty.  But, Praise God for GRACE!  (Can I get an Amen!?! Thank you Amen corner!) Let me tell you, it has become easier over the years and weeks with my man and my son.  I have learned that physical touch breaks down walls and barriers.  That one touch I send my family out with daily, lets them know they are seen, known and cherished by their wife and mom.

What about you?  Are you sending your family out daily into the world with life giving words, full bellies and loving affection?  We can be women who live out theses principles and Lord willing will be carried on through our third and fourth thousandth generations. Interested in joining me?  Come on girl!  We can do it together!

xoxo,

Sheb

Pause: Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (read it here).  What is God saying to you?

Ponder: Identify one of the three ways you will grow and implement for at least one week to send your family out daily into the world.

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.

The Day I Got My First Gray Hair

I know when you saw this post you were like, "What is Te'Sheba talking about now?"

So, last year I turned 33.  Towards the end of the year, near Thanksgiving, I spotted "it".  Yep! I spotted that beautiful piece of hair at the right front of my hair.  Ya'll it. is. beautiful!

I couldn't help but stare at in the mirror and look at it.  It was stunning.  I was so excited, I called K.O. and the kids in the bathroom and said, "Look, isn't it beautiful!" K.O. thought I was crazy and said, "Okay."(with a weird stare, as if I was going slightly off the edge)

K.O. asked, "Why are you so pumped up about a gray hair?"

I said, "You know, I don't know?"  And then my mind started turning, why was I so ecstatic about this piece of hair?

As I thought about it, it showed a clear sign of God as creator and that His creation ages.  I am aging. It is a sign of growth.  In my family you don't get "grays" till you began to age.  And here is my point:

When I think and look at where I am right now, I can't help but love and embrace it right now.

In my life, I have NEVER been as close to the Lord as I feel right now.  I am walking in such a surrender to the Lord in EVERY area of my life.  I mean like God has me in a place of growing in deep devotion, dependence and discipline with Him.  It looks like boldness of faith, passionately pursuing the needy (spiritually, physically, emotionally) through prayer and patience in the Lord.

No, it doesn't "feel" good physically or emotionally at times.  But my goodness it "feels" amazing spiritually!  To know everyday I am doing God's best in my life daily and living spent for Jesus!  Baby, I get no greater joy than this!  As Trip Lee says, "This is the good life".

I love how Paul put it in 1 Corinthians 9:19-27 (Stop and read it right now!)

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+9%3A19-27&version=NKJV

Paul shares his heart about sharing the gospel with those who are spiritually blind and running.  He writes that though there are many runners, only one runner receives the prize.  How do they win you ask?  By exercising  self-control in all things.  Disciplining their bodies and keeping it under control.  Wow! That's where I'm trying to be! I want the imperishable wreath and I am trying to spur others on to receive theirs as well.

Though I've died my hair since (just cause I like change and dying my hair), this one hair took me to a place with the Lord.  It took me to the place of adoration for who God is; to a place of confession of who and what I am without his Holy Spirit living in me and thanksgiving, towards where God has brought me from and taking me towards through his power. My hope and heart is for those near and dear to me who haven't received the blessing of an eternal wreath to receive it and so much more.  Let me ask you something?

When you think and look at your life right now, do you see the hand of God in it and love it?  If yes/no why?

Where is God calling you to place him in the center and see his my hand move in your life?


No matter where you are with God , spend some time with him today.  Don't delay.  He wants you and all your stuff for Him.  He wants to use it for His glory.  Pour your heart out to the Lord.

xoxo,
Sheb

Thoughts On A Life Well Lived

Hey girlie! I have missed you! Yep, you. The one reading this right now. Yep, though I may not see you physically, I see you in my heart as I type every word on this page/post(whichever you prefer to call it). You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. You, yes you are not forgotten. In the midst of the day to day my heart longs to sit with you. As a matter of fact, I picture you and me sitting in my livingroom, with cups of coffee or tea (whichever you prefer), some Natalie Lauren playing, a pastry and blanket all snuggled up on the couch sharing our hearts. Yep, that's exactly how it feels; warm and safe. "Mi casa es su casa!" Okay you settled? You comfy? Good. 

Over the past month I was able to see a faithful follower of Christ go home to be with The Lord forever. It was beautiful! Never in my adult years have I seen a more beautiful home going than this. Mrs. Ceceil Davis is her name. Beautiful inside and out. I saw her from the beginning of her diagnosis journey to her family finishing well with her. And as I chatted with one of my best friends, Camille (her daughter in-love) on the phone we began to relish the beauty of God's handiwork fulfilled in Mrs. Davis. I am not a crier but Mrs. Davis is a woman of faith. Her legacy will never be fully known until we see Jesus. But, as I sat at her home going the Holy Spirit began to reveal basic truths through her life; what I would call what a "well-lived life" looks like. 

                                         Mrs. Ceceil Davis

A well-lived life is what I desire in a culture that promotes a consumption of self mentality. My heart longs to live "spent" for a worthy calling. Mrs. Ceceil lived a life "spent" for the audience of One! She understood what Paul wrote to the folks at Phillipi,

 "21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me;"(Phillipians 1:21-22a)

So, you are probably like, "Shebs, what are the keys to a well-lived life? A life fulfilled."

Okay, here they are.

1. Love well. 

Living a well-lived life is reflected in how we love others. I don't know if its just me, but loving people ain't easy. I mean really loving them! Loving them in the good, the bad and the ugly is. not. easy. People got issues ya'll and so do we! So if this is the case, how do we love well. Well, 1 John 4:7-8 says,

7Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.…

I find it interesting that in order for me and you to love we have to be born of God and know Him. So, I can be born of God and not know Him, and won't be able to love someone genuinely. That word "know" is linked to a deep, embracing, engaging relationship with God. Pretty simple. We love well when we recognize we can't love without God's love living and active in us. That my friend is loving well. Let me ask you a question. Have you been born of God(salvation) and do you know Him(relationship)? If not, you can know Him like this today. I mean like right now. He is right here, right now. All you need is to ask Him and he will abide in you. (If you took this step email me so I can help you grow in your new love relationship with The One true God). 

2. Live well.

You know this may seem like a piece of cake, but this can be challenging with out the Holy Spirit living in you. I find that I can be a good "moral" person and check the boxes of doing good deeds. But, the creator of the universe, God himself, created us to live in a manner worthy of the call he has given us. God is not asking us for perfection living. He is asking us for purposeful living. I love how Paul put it over in 2 Timothy 4:6-8,

…6For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 8in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.

Living well is a life poured out sacrificially. It's a heart decision to serve instead of being served. Living well is fighting for good, finishing God's course for your life, pressing in to stay faithful in all things. Oh, girl this is the good life! This is where it's at! To know that I can rest assure that my treasures are in heaven, but even the more experience TRUE rest in The Lord while here on earth. The question is, are you living well? Are you experiencing Gods TRUE rest for you while you are still breathing? 

3. Lead well. 

Although I don't have the opportunity to sit and blog, I do enjoy doing this. You may ask why? I'll be honest, God made me and influencer. He purposed me to lead. For many years I ran from it. I ran from it because of what it demanded from me and still does at times. Eventually, I had to embrace that there are people God has called me to encourage, teach, and lead. And if I keep running eventually, I am gonna wear myself out and miss what God is trying to do for His glory in my life. Do you have anyone in your life? Well then you are an influencer. You have an assignment to lead well. Leading well is leading by example. I love what John 3:30 says,

 30"He must increase, but I must decrease.

Leading well is a life of seeing Christ work increase more than seeing your own work increase! It's not about you, but about whose in you! Will you allow God to lead you, so you can lead others for His glory? 

I desire to be a person who loves well, lives well and leads well. I know it can be accomplished, because I saw someone who lived it, Mrs. Ceceil Davis. The question is will you?

xoxo,

Shebs

Pause: Meditate on the scriptures and the three areas of a well-lived life.

Ponder: Where is God asking you to seek him in becoming well?

Petition: Spend time before God confessing where you fall short and worship Him for who He is and how He is at work in your life!

A Sink Full of Dishes And A Heart Filled With Joy

I know it's been awhile.  Forgive Me Friend. You know everyone of you are near and dear to me.  My heart has been on overflow as the many months have passed.  My heart has been heavy and full all at the same time.  Oh, How I longed to be with you and share my life with you. So, Let me explain...

A sink full of dishes! A sink full of dishes!( Yes, that is pure excitement in my voice.)  My husband and I have been in a recent season of trials.  We could NOT have prepared for the things we were about to experience in this season of storms.  How do I know this, because we did prepare and yet here we are!  Here is a friendly fact for ya:

SOMETHINGS YOU JUST CAN'T PREPARE FOR FRIEND. PERIOD.

What happens when you are just in the middle of the sea and the storms begin to rage?  What can you hold on to?  How long can you hold on to what you think will keep you secure?  Here's what I know, that in this season of storms the only thing keeping me and my family is The Lord!  You heard me right!  

I don't know about you, but I live in and am surrounded by a culture that promotes security!  Security through trying to control everything that happens in our lives.  

Kids going ham? Don't worry do these 3 easy steps and problem solved.

Your finances are tight?  Well just have a savings and plan ahead. 

Want a new job?  Simple.  Network.

Ever so often the Lord, Sovreign God, Creator of the Universe will bring us some real deal stuff to see where our hope lies.  Things that can't be forecasted, but just happen.  

A diagnosis of cancer.

An adoption process that's on pause.

A loss of a child or even infertility.

An emptied bank account.

An affair.  A divorce.  You fill in the blank.

Here's my point: 

EVERY TRIAL, EVERY DIFFICULTY, EVERY DIAGNOSIS IS FOR HIS GLORY!

So, one beautiful day that seemed not so beautiful rocked my world.  I was having a conversation with my hubby, and we began to have some hard conversations about what should be done during this season of trials.  So, what did we do?

We stopped, we prayed, we worshiped God.

Then we did it again and again.

And then we got our community involved and asked them to stop, pray and worship.  

What happens when God does not respond at the moments you think he should?

We wait.  And that's what we did.

With a sink full of dishes I would stop, pray, cry aloud to my God(And girl did I cry.  FYI....I am NOT a crier) and then worshiped Him.  The One who responds, reigns and floods into my heart like a mighty rushing wind.  

Listen ladies.  There have been many days I would just pour my heart out before the Lord with a sink full of dishes!  Wanna know why?

BETTER MY HEART CLEAN WITH A SINK FULL OF DIRTY DISHES THAN A TROUGH FULL OF SIN IN MY HEART WITH A SINK FULL OF CLEAN DISHES!

Listen to what scripture says in Psalm 51:16-18(English Standard Version)

16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
    build up the walls of Jerusalem;

This is David crying out to the Lord.  He knew the Lord, checking the "right" boxes and yet he knew he had sin in his heart!  So David came clean.

I came clean with the Lord.  Pride, haughtiness, envy, doubt, fear.  All these things the Lord revealed in my heart.  As I was on the floor in my kitchen with those dirty dishes, God wanted my heart.  He wanted my heart ever the more broken and pure for Him.  He wanted me to be naked before Him. He wanted to take the dish of my heart and wash it, clean it, and it make it shine for His glory!  Let me tell ya'll something, in that moment was pure JOY!  

This is a joy like none other.  It is eternal.  It is not bent on emotion, but on the reality of who God is!  Nothing else can compare and nothing ever will.  God's joy comforts, does not condemn, encourages, and sets free the anguished soul!  

Here's my question:

Do you have this joy?  Are you in a place where you are tending more to the sink full of dishes than the sin that is lying dormant in the crevices of your soul?  Are you choosing to embrace the JOY that Jesus gave us over 2,000 years ago on that cross?  The joy that releases you from guilt, condemnation and anguish.  Spend some time searching your heart today in the presence of a Perfect God, to see what He reveals to you.  When God reveals it, don't let it remain but ask Him to "create a clean heart in you and renew a steadfast spirit in you"(Psalm 51:10).  

Wanna find out the second part of my story?  Come back on Wednesday!  See ya friend.   

FIGHTING FEAR

You know how you go to sleep and while your sleeping the Lord just speaks.  Well, I woke up with this very topic in my head this morning.  I tried to get this post out of my head, but it has followed me in my heart. All. Day. Long.  This is challenging for me to write about as I DAILY battle with "it"  in my life.

 F.E.A.R.!!!!!!  There it is ladies.  Yep, I am putting it out there! I can't stand it and it is wreaking havoc in my life and the lives of others I know. Sheesh! So let's talk about it.


What Is It?
I have heard it said by my Pastor, Kevin James, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.  In my life what does it look like daily.  Well, let's see... It sounds and looks a little bit like this:

Because...

• I am not qualified to talk about God's Word and pour it into to others....It appears in the form of me not sitting at my desk writing a post.  
• I didn't live a life honoring to the Lord in my childhood years...It appears as me fighting the thoughts of am I going to mess my kids up in the head. 
• I was "last minute lucy" in applying to colleges... It appears as me conversing with my teenager for the 20th time about college choices, as if he is going in the Spring and is not a junior in high school. 
• I have no skill set like ANYONE from HGTV...  It appears as my house isn't "show" ready, so how could I possibly reflect a Proverbs 31 woman? Or let alone pour in to woman for that matter about biblical womanhood.(Even though, it truly is NOT a priority on my list. I'd rather cook. I'm a lover of good cooked meals.)
• I didn't respond well to my spouse...It appears that I will NEVER get victory over my responses to my spouse.

On and on it goes.... I could continue on, but then it would just sound like a pity party.

What Is So Wrong With Fear?

Here is what I have found:


1. Fear is not the TRUTH!  It's that simple. As a woman of faith, God has revealed to me that it is in my failures where God gets ALL the glory and draws others to himself. When I allow fear to control me from doing, going, or being the person God created me to be; I will be stagnant and therefore, never able to fulfill His glorious plan for my life. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.  What has God revealed to you that you are to be doing to fulfill His purpose in your life? 

2.  Fear is a TACTIC!  I have recognized that fear is a tactic the devil uses to thwart my purpose in Christ.    The devil has strategies to take us off the grid of living for God intentionally.  Listen to what scripture says in John 10:10.  The thief(Satan) does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.  Okay, so this is crazy!  This verse makes it so clear about why Satan comes.  First of all, he's not even trying to step to you UNLESS you are living for God. Plain and simple.  Satan is the father of  death.  God is the Father of life.  So, I am either going in one direction or the other.  Ouch.  This is convicting ya'll.  Jesus came (not just past, but present perfect-for now and for all time to come) so we can have not just life eternally, but life abundantly!  He wants us to live in Him while we are living on earth.  So, I have to allow the abundant living Christ paid for to wash over my thoughts, wash over my heart, wash over what I should be doing for His glory!

3.  Fear is a TIME WASTER!  OOOOWEEE!  The Lord is speaking to me today!  Fear is a time waster.  I just began to think about the times DAILY when I have a thought that is crippled by fear and how long I can go through the what if's, instead of just being obedient and saying yes!  If I fall on my face, SO WHAT!  I'm falling hard for Jesus!  That's why the 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 ,8 Concerning this thing I(Paul) pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. When I fall there is a humbling that takes places and a dependence on Christ to pick me up.  I am time wasting when I just keep analyzing, because I am prideful thinking "How can I not fall?  How can I look good?  How can I boast in my self and what I am doing?"  WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!! I am ignoring a need for God and ultimately am going to end up back at reliance on self, which ALWAYS brings forth death.  HELP ME LAWD!!!!  

Ya'll I am just pouring forth my soul, because this is REAL in my life right now.  It's crazy too, because by the grace of God, I believe God for crazy stuff for others, but not for myself.  Don't get me wrong,  I mean me sitting at my computer RIGHT NOW is an act of obedience!  I literally have to shift from fear to faith, EVERY SINGLE TIME I right a post or speak at an event.  This is as REAL as it gets in my life right now.  So, I have come to a resolution today:  If we error, let's err on the side of obedience(what God is asking of us to do). Whose with me?

Pause: Reread the following scripture passages listed above. 

Ponder: Make 2 columns with, "What God Says" & What God Is Saying To Me" in regards to the things that you are allowing fear to control.  

Petition:  Tell Him.  Listen.  Do.

LESSONS LEARNED IN LOSS

Wow! It's been awhile.  Summer is over, the kids are back in school and I am back to sharing my heart with you.  The Lord has been so kind to choose me to display His glory and I am so thankful.  No, it's not easy. There is joy and their is sadness.  There is burden and their is ease. And trust me when I say,

 There is no other place I'd rather be than in the center of His will.

I say all of this to share what has been happening in my life.  Two months ago K.O. and I found out that the Lord saw fit to bless us with a new addition to our family.  We were quite in shock, as we felt the Lord leading us to look more into the foster to adoption process.  And Lord knows I am not to have a baby and adopt a child at the same time!

After we had gotten over the shock, we began to embrace God's sovereign will for our lives and trust Him.  I went to my first appointment and checked in with my doc and minutes after my spirit began to be uneasy.  (If anyone knows me, they know I am a faithwalker or "optimistic".  I take to heart "All things work together for the good..."  So, I brushed it off as if I didn't feel what I was feeling.  Shortly thereafter, the doctor communicated he heard no heartbeat and wanted me to get an ultrasound immediately.  I go for the ultrasound, hear the the baby's heartbeat (strong at 155 bpm) and all is good.  Well, my spirit was still unsettled.

Upon waiting for my doctor (who did not arrive until 45-50 min. later) a lady knocks on the door and says, "Have you been seen by the doctor?" I said, "No, I haven't."  She said, I am so sorry.  I think he may have forgotten you were still here."  Ya'll know it was the Holy Spirit, because in a moment where I could have embraced my flesh and "go COMPLETELY off", the HOLY SPIRIT spoke truth.  

The Lord said, " I know they forgot about you, but YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN! I see you. You are known before me!  I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you!  And just like that ya'll the gentle presence of my God, my Father and my Friend calmed my fears and settled my soul. 

I love this God I serve!  This is why HE is the lover of my soul. I love Him and let me tell you something about this moment.  At this moment, I knew God was preparing me and my heart for something.  Something MORE!  Something that was not about me, but about resting in "it is well, with my soul".  I love how God gave me full notice, before K.O. and I went through the storm of loss. 

Our precious baby Oliver went home to be with the Lord on Friday, August 22, 2014. 

Here is what I know, is that God doesn't randomly select or roll dice to see who He is going to put into battle.  No, He is very intentional in what He does to display His glory in our lives.  Today, my heart shares with you what I learned through this storm.

Lesson #1: LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION.  
As a follower of Christ, I am Pro Life because God made us in His image and I believe I don't control what the designer does. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born".  Because our baby was so young, and I had the sweet privilege to hear the heart beat(beating strong) God wanted me to know it's not just about these babies being made in His image. No, this is a life!  A life with plans to display His glory and what He wants done, He will do.  He needs no assistance from us.

Lesson #2: GOD DOES ALL HIS HOLY WILL.
I know that God is sovereign and I have shared this with many others that I have ministered to.  Yet, it was not until this precious time that the Lord made it clear.  I remember speaking to my doctor the morning of, before our baby went home to be with the Lord.  I communicated with him what I perceived was taking place.( I knew this because this is our third miscarriage).  Yet, when I spoke to him, he assured me that as he looked at the ultrasound that NOTHING was wrong with the embryo sac and the baby's heartbeat was STRONG.  Once, again God gave me peace and told me not to debate this doctor.  This is the EXACT scripture he gave me while speaking with him.  Psalm 8:4-5 "What is man that You remember him, the son of man that You look after him?  You made him little less than God and crowned him with glory and honor." The Word that God kept sticking out is "YOU", which refers to God, creator of the Universe and ALL things within it!  Doctors are NOT the final answer, GOD IS!  God remembers, looks after and crowned me & this baby with glory and honor out of His power, His grace, and His will.  So,  God chooses what He wants to write on my blank check of life.

 He does what His holy will wants and He does it to display His fingerprints on my life!  

 Lesson #3:  GOD TAKES US THROUGH SO WE CAN ENCOURAGE OTHERS.
I love this.  Over the past 4 months I have had a scripture on my refrigerator and I didn't know why.  I would pass by it, read it and keep it moving.  Well, the Lord revealed why it was on my fridge, "for such a time as this".  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may comfort those who are in ANY affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.   Do ya'll see what I see? Yep!  What I went through was an opportunity that not all of us have.  I had the sweet privilege of being comforted by my loving God, so I can comfort another through ANY affliction.  And not comfort them in just my life experience, but comfort them with the comfort from a HOLY God and Savior Jesus Christ who loved, suffered, went and died to redeem this very moment with understanding, comfort and hope to know Him in a deeper more meaningful way.  And that is what I would call, "PRICELESS"! 

Today, take time to reflect on your loss.  Is it a job, a loved one, a wayward child, a financial situation, relationship, or just an unmet expectation that you have been believing God for?  Be honest with yourself and the Lord. I will tell you a secret, "HE ALREADY KNOWS".  He wants you to voice it to Him, so He can lift that burden, carry it and comfort you. It ALL boils down to choice. 

xoxo,
Sheb


PAUSE: Read the following verses of scripture.  Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 8:4-5, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

PONDER: What is God saying about Himself in the verses?  What is God saying about you in the verses?  What is your take away?

PRAY: Tell Him. Listen. Do.