Thoughts on A 'Mommy Slump'

Hey! Come on In! (cyberspace kisses comin' right at ya)

 I am so happy you decided to drop on over and chit chat with me today.  A few days ago I shared a post about sending your family out into the world. If you didn't read it here's your chance.  Ok, now that that's settled, I talked about facing some 'teen growing pains' as I like to call them.  Well, these growing pains put me right in a 'mommy slump'.  Let me explain. I created a definition for it because I couldn't find one. (take that Merriam-Websters)

mommy slump (n.)
1. the ability to fall heavily into a somber, annoyed, frustrated or 'blah' state due to circumstances or situations outside of ones control.

As I researched articles online about the 'mommy slump' I got NOTHING that proved itself to be beneficial.  The articles provided me with how to escape, not how to deal and embrace what was going on within my heart and mind.  So, I questioned my own heart, "How did I get here? What has led me to this point and how do I get out of the slump (or ditch) and see daylight?"

My findings began to take me to a place of deliverance and freedom.  I found out that I was in a spiritual battle for my heart to stay connected to the Lord, to my teenage son and to choose joy even while my heart & my flesh weren't feelin' joyful.  It's difficult to stay connected to the Lord when there is Cleveland overcast, Daylight Savings Time change, challenges with teenagers, challenges with little children, and the rest of the day-to-day responsibilities as a woman, wife and mom.

So, here's the question;
How have I been staying connected and how can you do the same?  Great question!

1.  Communion with The Word: 
That's right.  It NEVER changes.  I have to have meetings with Jesus daily.  Yes, I said 'meetings'.  That is plural.  He is the source.  In moments when I felt like my heart and mind were being attacked towards who I am, I have leaned in to the book of Hebrews to carry me and remind of who HE is and who I am by grace alone.  It is faith alone that will carry the one whose soul is anchored alone in Christ!  Let Christ carry whatever is weighing on your soul.

2.  Connection with Community:
I CANNOT say enough about the importance of authentic, transparent and spiritually rooted relationships.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up."  I am thankful for homies that will listen.  Not just girlfriends that will listen but, will pray, fast and whatever else.  They come alongside me to lift my arms and pick me up out of the 'mama' slump so we can press forward together. No 'mama' left behind!

3.  Courage to love others despite what I see:
This has been a process.  This courage looks like faithful diligence to engage my teenage son daily, despite my selfish desire not to. (It's real.  Sometimes I just don't feel like it.)  You know if you take 'i.s.' out of the selfish, the words can transform into the word "flesh".  And that's EXACTLY what was rising up within me, my flesh.  Flesh is a sinful nature that can operate from "I deserve..." instead of "How can I serve..."  I love how Paul put it in Romans 12:9, "Love must be without hypocrisy.  Detest evil; cling to what is good."  Well, what does this love look like?  Galatians2:19-20, one of my favorite bible verses reads, "For through the law I have died to the law, so that I might live for God.  I have been crucified with Christ and I (Te'Sheba) no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body , I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ was polar opposite of how my heart can feel.  Instead of being selfish, CHRIST was selfless! (slap some wide-eyed emoji cons right here!)

Ladies, here's my challenge to you that was given to me by my mentor ( I love you if you are reading this).  Thirty days. Three. Zero. That's right. 30 days of having courage to encourage that difficult spouse, teenager, child, sibling, boss, etc.  You know who your person is.  And if their isn't a person that is difficult, just encourage one person for 30 days straight.

Join me as I take the next 30 days on this blog, instagram and/or facebook to share some journal entries, time with God and matters of the heart toward how God wants me to courageously encourage my teenage son.

Comment below if you are on board with me.

xoxo,
Sheb

Ponder: Meditate on Hebrews 3, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Romans 12:9, Galatians 2:19-20 and Journal your thoughts.

Pause: Think about where you are in your heart right now.  Are you selfish or selfless?

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.

3 Ways To Send Your Family Out Daily Into The World

Wassup Ya'll,

I'm back! Yes, I did miss you.  I have been trying to become more consistent in every area of my life and I tell you, it definitely comes with challenges.  So, here am I.  A couple of weeks ago one of my mentors challenged me to a 30-day encouragement with my teenage son.  I was like, Whaaaaa!!! Then shortly after I said yes.  My son and I had been going through some "teen growing pains" and it just worked me over.  Don't worry, I am writing another post this week about it.  You will soon understand my heart in this matter.  Well, needless to say as she pumped life back into my fatigued soul, she said, "Te'Sheba you should just encourage your son for just 30 days and see what happens."  So here I stand and I tell you it has been so convicting and encouraging all at the same time.

You see, when our children are in the younger years we have no problem loving on them, cheering them on and encouraging them when they make mistakes.We just call it sinful innocence. But, when those teen years come it. is. a. completely. different. ball game.  TRUST ME!  So as I left my "come to Jesus" meeting and after she wheeled me back onto the court to play the game of  'Fighting For Your Teenager's Heart', the Holy Spirit spoke.

The Lord reminded me of why I said "Yes, Lord" to being in my home full-time and being intentional in my home.  He took me right back to Deuteronomy 6: 4-9( read it here ).  Fireworks starting going off in my soul.  I cried out to the Lord,"Well how am I suppose to implement this scripture passage with this 30-day challenge?"  And you know what happened next?  He answered.  Three simple ways to send my family out daily into the world.  Nothing super difficult when you hear it, but it takes the Holy Spirit's power to be faithful in doing it daily.  So here they are:

(Thanks Nicole Carlisle @ radicalthreadsoflife for this gorgeous pic)

1.  Speak life into them: 

I CANNOT say enough about the importance of affirming who they are & whose they are.  K.O. & I were very intentional in naming our children and I have began to try my best to remind them of it daily.  One time, my son got out the car when I was dropping him off for school and Giselle (my daughter of Promise) said, "Mom aren't you gonna tell him who he is ?"  I said, "I'm so sorry.  I forgot.  And proceeded to tell him who he is." Yes, you see I said 'is' and not 'was'.  My husband and my children get enough of people telling them who they were, but I see and know them for who they are.  SPEAK LIFE!

2.  Bless them with breakfast:

I know mornings are busy, but I can't say enough about how you handing your spouse a homemade smoothie, your teenage son a bagel with meat and your little(s) oatmeal or pre-made waffle batter will say, "Home is where my belly and my soul are nourished and satisfied."  Bless them by feeding them.

3.  Lay hands or kisses on them:  

I am not really a "touchy-feely" person.  But, as the years have progressed I have seen how my behaviors and actions have effected my oldest son.  There have been difficult stretches where I have not laid hands on my son's shoulders or even patted his head.  Bam, I am guilty.  And, even more broken admittedly, kissed my man K.O. before he left for work or returned home.  I am guilty.  But, Praise God for GRACE!  (Can I get an Amen!?! Thank you Amen corner!) Let me tell you, it has become easier over the years and weeks with my man and my son.  I have learned that physical touch breaks down walls and barriers.  That one touch I send my family out with daily, lets them know they are seen, known and cherished by their wife and mom.

What about you?  Are you sending your family out daily into the world with life giving words, full bellies and loving affection?  We can be women who live out theses principles and Lord willing will be carried on through our third and fourth thousandth generations. Interested in joining me?  Come on girl!  We can do it together!

xoxo,

Sheb

Pause: Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (read it here).  What is God saying to you?

Ponder: Identify one of the three ways you will grow and implement for at least one week to send your family out daily into the world.

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.

Yes Lawd!!!

I love my  daughter Giselle!  She is the most vibrant, serious, strong-willed 2 year old I have met (outside of myself of course!)  Recently she's been choosing the word choice, "no".  You heard me correctly ladies and gents.  She goes around saying, "no, no, no, no....", with different voice inflections.   Okay, so she has been saying it so much that it clicked for me! 

Here is how the convo went with she and I.  

Me: Giselle

Giselle: Huh?

Me: Why do you keep saying no?

Giselle: (shrug of the shoulders) Huh-uhn.

Me: Well, let's practice saying yes.  Say it with me, Yes!

Giselle:  Yes. (confused look)

Me: Yes! (with enthusiasm)

Giselle: Yes. (imperative frustrated look)

Me: Yes! (with joy)

Giselle: Yes!  (joyful look)

And of course, ya'll know what happened next, right?  The Holy Spirit came in like a rushing wind to my heart.  You know what He said to me?  

God:  Now you say it to Me?  

Me:  Huh?  Whaaaaat!?!  Hold on one second Lord...(with hesitation)

The Lord revealed to me I often say yes outwardly, but really am walking around inwardly just like my two year old daughter saying, "No...no...no...no..."

The Lord drew me back to the Mount of Olives (Luke 22:39-42).  Jesus didn't want it "The Cup", but He took it.  It was bitter for the Father and for Him, but it was better for me and for the world.  

"Welcome to my world!"  This is where I am in this stage of my life.  Saying yes to blogging, writing and speaking all HIS holy will while focusing well on the ways of my home. Sheesh! I am a free spirit ya'll!  I love to get up and allow myself to blow wherever the wind blows me.  But saying yes stretches me!  It stretches me to be faithful to God and faithful to using my time well for His glory!  

xoxo

(Read Luke 22:39-42)

Ponder:  What has God been asking of you lately? Is your heart saying "yes" or "no" towards the Lords work for your life?

Pause:  How can you move (more) towards saying "yes" today?

Petition: Tell Him.  Listen.  Do. 

RUN

This is it. This is the moment where my heart beats as drums in my chest and my mouth begins to water. This is it. This moment of time where my God reminds me why He restored my soul and why I am here. To run. I mean run hard after The One who made me. To display His story through my life.  

How did I get here? How long do I run? Am I the only runner in the race?  

I wish I could tell you the run is easy, but I would be lying to you. It came from running into His presence, seeking His face and embracing grace. The grace that has been holding on to me since my mother's womb, carrying me through repetitious sin, and gripping me when fear tries to lay hold of me.  So, I write to myself and to you. I write of my journey, failures and celebrations. I write for The One who wrote my name in my mother's womb and the Book of Life. I don't know how long it will last. But, I do know I am here and I am running.  1 Corinthians 9:24 says,"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!"(NLT)

I run for the prize. I run towards my inheritance, heaven. Philippians 3:12 puts it this way, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."(NIV)  You see, I haven't arrived. I'm running just like you. Running towards Jesus daily.  My joy is not just to run, but run with you.  If you are reading this you are running.  The direction may be (TBD) to be determined, but by golly, you are running.  

The question is will you run with me ?

 In Phillipians 3:14 God says through Paul,"I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."  Wait. So, we are running to:

1. reach the end

2. receive the heavenly prize

3. embrace the call through Christ Jesus

This blog is one way I am embracing God's call through Christ in me.  Today, spend time reading Phillipians 3:12-21. Journal what He speaks to your soul and then answer the following:

Ponder:

What are you running towards(i.e., successful career, perfect family, a pristine reputation, money, retirement, idleness, perfect body)?  

Pause:

How can you run towards God today?

Petition:

Tell Him. Listen. Do. 

xoxo