Redifining Christmas: Part 1 of 3 Christmas Series

I love Christmas! I'm not ashamed of it either. I grew up in a home where Christmas was celebrated and focused upon Christ ALONE! Don't get it twisted, I'm appreciative and thankful.

As I grew and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, I began to really long to make Christmas traditions for our family while focusing on Christ. Can I be honest, I didn't know how. I didn't know how to embrace the balance of celebrating Christ and balancing the cultural aspects of the holiday.

So, where am I today on this balance? Here's the truth, there is no balance just tension. I've embraced that there is a tension and should be a tension in my heart around this very matter. So as I have sought and prayed about what Christmas is to my family, we began to redefine Christmas. Wait! Don't freak out, just hear me out. The very definition of redefine means to define again, reformulate. 

So, that's what we did. We asked, how do we define Christmas? What do we believe? It landed us right where our hearts and our lives rest, in Christ. We began to study the stories/traditions of Old for believers and how we can embrace them as redeemed followers of Christ. So this 3-Part series is just that. Me sharing with you how The Olivers are redefining Christmas through Christ. 

(Free downloads found on alwaysrooney.com)

One way, that we have we redefined Christmas is through celebrating Advent. 

"Advent", meaning the coming or Second coming of Christ. I did not grow up celebrating this tradition, but I have found it to be a blessing to me and my family.  We have used a few different Advent resources from Pastors/Bible Teachers that our beliefs align with as a person of the faith. 

This year we are using the resource provided by The Village Church, Pastor Matt Chandler. It allows our hearts to focus on Christ and keep Him as the focus of the season, while creating traditions and celebrations around the focus of Christ's coming. It's beautiful! It allows my heart, soul and mind to make much of His name in all things this season! 

Can I ask a question. How are you focusing on Christ this Christmas? If you're not, it's NEVER LATE.  I LOVE what James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." God is waiting. He waiting for you to come near to Him. Hey, if you are reading this slow down and pause. Pause and Pray. 

Here are a few Advent Resources for the individual and for the family. 

The Village Church: Click here

Ann Voskamp: Click here

John Piper: Click here

I look forward to these next two post and the sharing I get to do with you this Christmas season!  Share this post with a friend and keep a lookout as I will be providing tons of links for FREE stuff to make this season what our hearts long for it to be.

Blessings & xoxo!

The Conspiracy of Pride

What's up ya'll!  I'm sure when you saw this you said to yourself, "What on earth is she talking about now?"  And in my most soft tone (which is hard for me) I say, "Myself, I'm talking about myself."  

Over the past several months, at least from the beginning of Summer, the Lord exposed the sin of pride and how it has manifested it's way right back at the front door of my heart again.  It's like this weed that keeps growing.  No matter how much I try to kill it or pull it up by its root, it still keeps coming back. 

You see, I have seen pride manifest itself two ways in my life. One, by thinking too highly of myself.  And two, by thinking too low of myself.  Either way, they are both pride. Why?  The very act of pride is a focus of self.  Self idolatry.  All eyes on me. It truly is a conspiracy; an evil plot.  Pride can destroy almost every area of a person's life.  Not boldly, but subtly. I think about the first years of my marriage, I found myself NEVER taking ownership of my anger, harsh words or fits of rage.  I 'll tell you what pride did.  It drove a wedge of separation between God and I and my marriage.  I've even seen in my own life what happens when I haven't asked for help and how it buried me into a sea of frustration and sorrow, because I thought I could do it on my own.  

Image by:http://www.pktfuel.com/ 

So, how am I fighting against this conspiracy?  Though I continue to do battle with this 'flesh' I know that their is only one way to get victory.  Not in my power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit. Fight this 'flesh' with the TRUTH! So what is the truth?

When I think too highly of myself, the TRUTH is:

1. In light of God's glory, I'm a hot mess. God is the standard. (Ephesians 1:5-7)

2. God opposes the proud, gives grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5)

3. Keep it 100 with myself about my own life challenges. (Romans 12:3)

When I think to lowly of myself, the TRUTH is:

1. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

2. I'm a masterpiece created by the Master and for the Master alone. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

3. My life is not my own it has been bought with a price.(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

My very mind, body and spirit must be solely directed by the Word of God alone.  Listen, God did not create me to be a culture culprit, but a counterculture cultivator for His namesake.  Is it challenging to buy into the culture culprit of "what I deserve"and "my rights"? Absolutely. But, do I have to buy it? Absolutely Not.  And that my friends is where I am today.  I am praying and activating my faith in action to not buy pride.  To let the conspiracy be exactly what it is; a conspiracy.  

Maybe your conspiracy is not pride, but trust me friend their is something there. Will you take some time today and identify the evil plot that is subtly trying to destroy the plans God has for you?  Will you take time to recognize the TRUTH from God's Word so you can walk in freedom and joy today?  And then will you actively participate with God in displaying His glory to the world through sharing what He is doing in your life.

xoxo,

Sheb

A New Season, A New Beginning

Hey ya'll!  Happy Fall! I am so happy to be transitioning into the new season with ya'll.  I know if you follow this blog, you have already identified one of my weaknesses.  Consistency. Faithfulness towards the small things that God wants me to do.  So, hopefully this Fall will be much different. Hopefully. I am looking forward to the mountains we will climb together and the valleys we will get out of this season. 

During my break, I have had the privilege of narrowing in on what it is that I want to continue in writing about on the blog. I have to be honest, I love people.  And so, when I would listen to podcast or read other "blogger experts" I felt strongly encouraged to write about specific things and narrow the vision for me as a woman.  Can I be honest? Here is the resolve I came to; I love God.  Everything I do and how I live is motivated and propelled by that love.  And my love for Him is not compartmentalized, but flows into every single area of my life.  So, that being said, I am going to continue to write about how God engages my heart and is teaching me how to learn and live wisely in it. 

So what will you see?  You are going to see how I live as a woman, wife, mother, sister, friend and neighbor. I will be writing about from what's heavy on my heart to what fun recipes I'm enjoying as a southerner living up north. 

I'm excited to begin a new venture with Periscope this Fall!  I have longed to connect with my readers not just through written form, but through verbal so you can truly hear my heart towards what I share.  So, if you are not on Periscope, sign up and join me there!

I am looking forward to this Fall and hope you are too, until Wednesday, see you on social media friends!


xoxo,
Sheb

Five Mommy Reads Worth Your Time

Hey ya'll!  I love this time of year where I live in Cleveland.  During the winter everybody goes into hibernation and then when Spring comes, there is no stopping people.  The parks are packed, the outside picnics are in full effect and no one desires to go in the house.  I LOVE it!  I am the person that will let my kids play outside all day, have a bit of fun with them and then read till my eyes burn! I. love. to. read.  My girlfriends ask me, "How do you find time to read?"  I don't know, I just do.  It keeps me locked into what I am called to, where I am going and how to remain in my lane called 'life'.  So today, I wanted to share some of my mommy must reads!  I have read these books and they each have something different to offer.  So, ask the hubby to drop one in a bag for ya this Mother's Day or do what I do, just check them out at the library and when you get some extra 'duckets' if you like it, get it! And then bless another woman with it!

 

For New Mommies

  A delightful book for especially new moms and adjusting to a little one for the first time.  How to enjoy the quiet and noisy moments, as well as processing how to live in step with God made you to be outside of being a mommy.  Easy & Light Read.


For School-Aged Moms

 

This book is for the mom that looks at everything in their home with endless demands.  Not only do you have endless demands, but you set yourself up for expectations and perfections that ONLY God could meet.  It's real, authentic and delightfully light!  Check it out and quit thinking every cupcake has to be to perfection. Ha!


For Teen-Aged Moms

Listen to me, if you have a teenager, get this book.  This is the struggle, not of your teenager for you as the parent.  K.O. and I read this after we had called a counselor through the Focus on The Family Helpline.  It was recommended years ago and has do wonders in our responses to the teenage years. Check it out.

For Any Mom

Learned with my little that I was not giving grace to my kids and my mothering was on its way to "behavior modification" and not "heart transformation.  There still remain challenges, but the principles in this book remind me more about why Christ came and set me free and how I can lavish that upon my children to see Jesus in light of their choices.  A must read.  Oh, I read this one on Audible.

Sparkly Green Earrings

 

This book is freakin' hilarious.  It's a memoir on motherhood.  But, this chick Melanie, she will have you rollin'!  I am serious.  You know sometimes you just need to laugh things of when being a mom.  You know what I'm sayin'.  Melanie is so funny I had to read her other books. Great for anytime.

The Best Yes

You just gotta read this because its about living intentional.  Lysa focuses on how to NOT waste your life, but live spent daily in a 168 hour week.  I love her writing and her heart.  It's light and interactive to see where you are wasting time and to reconnect with what you are passionate about most!  Liked it.


I know I said five, but I gave you a BONUS book!  Hope you check them out soon!  Also, google these books.  I know many of their publishers have their books on sale this Mother's Day!  Happy Mother's Day and I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend!

OH.... Wait! Be looking in your feeds this Sunday for a Mother's Day Playlist that will have you encouraged and 'turnt' all at the same time!

xoxo,
Sheb

Thoughts on Being Mothered & Mothering My Own

I know as you see this, your social media feeds are beginning to be loaded with posts on motherhood.  I hope this isn't just "one more" you read, but you will really take to heart these thoughts and let them search your soul.  Okay, that sounds super serious, but anyhoo. Ya'll I LOVE my momma!  I wish I had a video recording to play of her when I said that! Ha!  Check her out.

(On Left) My Momma; can't you tell by the hot lipstick (On Right)My Mama Faye;my daddy's mom

You know my story with my mom isn't the sweetest of stories.  You see, I was a daddies girl. Yep!  Shot out to all my "D.G.'s" out there in the world!  So clearly, you can pretty much write the story from that point.  My mom and I had some tension between one another through the younger years and I was a handful to deal with.  I  do remember getting corrected and making decisions because as my mom puts it, "Couldn't nobody tell me nothin' but my daddy".  God, ALWAYS has a way of humbling me and restoring not only me, but those that I hurt or offend in the course of my life's journey. So, many of you don't know a portion of my story.

At the age of about 16, I had my oldest son, Mateo.  My parents had been in Full-Time Ministry since I was in the Second Grade.  Well, I recall vividly the day I "found out" the news I was prego officially.  It was the week of Simultaneous Revival.  If any of you who read this post are from Oklahoma you know what I am talking about.  My father was hosting a pastor who was doing a revival at our church.  So, guess who went to the doctor with me?  You guessed it, my momma.  As I look back now, I see that The Lord divinely appointed her to be in Dr. Wilbur's office with me.  Not my father, but my momma.  You see, the Lord knew this would be the moment where my mother would be the extension of grace made alive through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

My momma didn't skip over the reality and consequences of sin.  She became a living example of what Jesus does for you and me EVERY SINGLE DAY.  He sees our sin, redeems us with his blood, restores us through his resurrection and reconciles us to Himself, so we can tell somebody else what he has done in our lives.  In hope that they too may know the living, resurrecting power of who Jesus is and can be if they surrrender their lives to Him.

I love that my mom in those moments loved on me and affirmed me of who God was and who I was not without Jesus.  It reminds me of this very scripture from Hosea 6:1-3

“Come, let us return to the Lord;

    for he has torn us, that he may heal us;

    he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.

2 

After two days he will revive us;

    on the third day he will raise us up,

    that we may live before him.

3 

Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;

    his going out is sure as the dawn;

he will come to us as the showers,

    as the spring rains that water the earth.”

It was only through Christ that I could walk in freedom with the choices I made, whether wise or unwise.  As a mother this is where I try to live daily with my children.  Often times, I have forgotten from whence the Lord has brought, delivered and set me free.  And, I can pour my expectations and not God's expectations and hopes for them.  I am learning daily as a mom how to live out grace, mercy and unconditional love towards my children.  My mom did it.  Not just in that moment, but to this day with me, my siblings and her grandchildren.  Don't get it twisted, yes, she holds them accountable to the Truths of God's Word, but when flesh gives way to sin, her arms are open wide with correction, grace and love to point us back to Jesus.  I pray that I can continue this legacy that has been lavished upon me so generously with my children and my children to their children.

Is their an area of your life where Jesus is calling you to press in and embrace grace based mothering? Do you need to talk to your mom and say thank you for when she was an example of Jesus to you?  Is God calling you to a life changing walk with Him today as a mom?  Maybe you didn't have a mom like I did, but you are a mom and you don't want to repeat the behaviors, attitudes or actions you observed in your mom.  Jesus is the only one who can heal you, deliver you, restore you and allow you to honor your children the way you desire to for His glory.

xoxo,
Sheb

Thoughts on A 'Mommy Slump'

Hey! Come on In! (cyberspace kisses comin' right at ya)

 I am so happy you decided to drop on over and chit chat with me today.  A few days ago I shared a post about sending your family out into the world. If you didn't read it here's your chance.  Ok, now that that's settled, I talked about facing some 'teen growing pains' as I like to call them.  Well, these growing pains put me right in a 'mommy slump'.  Let me explain. I created a definition for it because I couldn't find one. (take that Merriam-Websters)

mommy slump (n.)
1. the ability to fall heavily into a somber, annoyed, frustrated or 'blah' state due to circumstances or situations outside of ones control.

As I researched articles online about the 'mommy slump' I got NOTHING that proved itself to be beneficial.  The articles provided me with how to escape, not how to deal and embrace what was going on within my heart and mind.  So, I questioned my own heart, "How did I get here? What has led me to this point and how do I get out of the slump (or ditch) and see daylight?"

My findings began to take me to a place of deliverance and freedom.  I found out that I was in a spiritual battle for my heart to stay connected to the Lord, to my teenage son and to choose joy even while my heart & my flesh weren't feelin' joyful.  It's difficult to stay connected to the Lord when there is Cleveland overcast, Daylight Savings Time change, challenges with teenagers, challenges with little children, and the rest of the day-to-day responsibilities as a woman, wife and mom.

So, here's the question;
How have I been staying connected and how can you do the same?  Great question!

1.  Communion with The Word: 
That's right.  It NEVER changes.  I have to have meetings with Jesus daily.  Yes, I said 'meetings'.  That is plural.  He is the source.  In moments when I felt like my heart and mind were being attacked towards who I am, I have leaned in to the book of Hebrews to carry me and remind of who HE is and who I am by grace alone.  It is faith alone that will carry the one whose soul is anchored alone in Christ!  Let Christ carry whatever is weighing on your soul.

2.  Connection with Community:
I CANNOT say enough about the importance of authentic, transparent and spiritually rooted relationships.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up."  I am thankful for homies that will listen.  Not just girlfriends that will listen but, will pray, fast and whatever else.  They come alongside me to lift my arms and pick me up out of the 'mama' slump so we can press forward together. No 'mama' left behind!

3.  Courage to love others despite what I see:
This has been a process.  This courage looks like faithful diligence to engage my teenage son daily, despite my selfish desire not to. (It's real.  Sometimes I just don't feel like it.)  You know if you take 'i.s.' out of the selfish, the words can transform into the word "flesh".  And that's EXACTLY what was rising up within me, my flesh.  Flesh is a sinful nature that can operate from "I deserve..." instead of "How can I serve..."  I love how Paul put it in Romans 12:9, "Love must be without hypocrisy.  Detest evil; cling to what is good."  Well, what does this love look like?  Galatians2:19-20, one of my favorite bible verses reads, "For through the law I have died to the law, so that I might live for God.  I have been crucified with Christ and I (Te'Sheba) no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body , I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ was polar opposite of how my heart can feel.  Instead of being selfish, CHRIST was selfless! (slap some wide-eyed emoji cons right here!)

Ladies, here's my challenge to you that was given to me by my mentor ( I love you if you are reading this).  Thirty days. Three. Zero. That's right. 30 days of having courage to encourage that difficult spouse, teenager, child, sibling, boss, etc.  You know who your person is.  And if their isn't a person that is difficult, just encourage one person for 30 days straight.

Join me as I take the next 30 days on this blog, instagram and/or facebook to share some journal entries, time with God and matters of the heart toward how God wants me to courageously encourage my teenage son.

Comment below if you are on board with me.

xoxo,
Sheb

Ponder: Meditate on Hebrews 3, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Romans 12:9, Galatians 2:19-20 and Journal your thoughts.

Pause: Think about where you are in your heart right now.  Are you selfish or selfless?

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.

3 Ways To Send Your Family Out Daily Into The World

Wassup Ya'll,

I'm back! Yes, I did miss you.  I have been trying to become more consistent in every area of my life and I tell you, it definitely comes with challenges.  So, here am I.  A couple of weeks ago one of my mentors challenged me to a 30-day encouragement with my teenage son.  I was like, Whaaaaa!!! Then shortly after I said yes.  My son and I had been going through some "teen growing pains" and it just worked me over.  Don't worry, I am writing another post this week about it.  You will soon understand my heart in this matter.  Well, needless to say as she pumped life back into my fatigued soul, she said, "Te'Sheba you should just encourage your son for just 30 days and see what happens."  So here I stand and I tell you it has been so convicting and encouraging all at the same time.

You see, when our children are in the younger years we have no problem loving on them, cheering them on and encouraging them when they make mistakes.We just call it sinful innocence. But, when those teen years come it. is. a. completely. different. ball game.  TRUST ME!  So as I left my "come to Jesus" meeting and after she wheeled me back onto the court to play the game of  'Fighting For Your Teenager's Heart', the Holy Spirit spoke.

The Lord reminded me of why I said "Yes, Lord" to being in my home full-time and being intentional in my home.  He took me right back to Deuteronomy 6: 4-9( read it here ).  Fireworks starting going off in my soul.  I cried out to the Lord,"Well how am I suppose to implement this scripture passage with this 30-day challenge?"  And you know what happened next?  He answered.  Three simple ways to send my family out daily into the world.  Nothing super difficult when you hear it, but it takes the Holy Spirit's power to be faithful in doing it daily.  So here they are:

(Thanks Nicole Carlisle @ radicalthreadsoflife for this gorgeous pic)

1.  Speak life into them: 

I CANNOT say enough about the importance of affirming who they are & whose they are.  K.O. & I were very intentional in naming our children and I have began to try my best to remind them of it daily.  One time, my son got out the car when I was dropping him off for school and Giselle (my daughter of Promise) said, "Mom aren't you gonna tell him who he is ?"  I said, "I'm so sorry.  I forgot.  And proceeded to tell him who he is." Yes, you see I said 'is' and not 'was'.  My husband and my children get enough of people telling them who they were, but I see and know them for who they are.  SPEAK LIFE!

2.  Bless them with breakfast:

I know mornings are busy, but I can't say enough about how you handing your spouse a homemade smoothie, your teenage son a bagel with meat and your little(s) oatmeal or pre-made waffle batter will say, "Home is where my belly and my soul are nourished and satisfied."  Bless them by feeding them.

3.  Lay hands or kisses on them:  

I am not really a "touchy-feely" person.  But, as the years have progressed I have seen how my behaviors and actions have effected my oldest son.  There have been difficult stretches where I have not laid hands on my son's shoulders or even patted his head.  Bam, I am guilty.  And, even more broken admittedly, kissed my man K.O. before he left for work or returned home.  I am guilty.  But, Praise God for GRACE!  (Can I get an Amen!?! Thank you Amen corner!) Let me tell you, it has become easier over the years and weeks with my man and my son.  I have learned that physical touch breaks down walls and barriers.  That one touch I send my family out with daily, lets them know they are seen, known and cherished by their wife and mom.

What about you?  Are you sending your family out daily into the world with life giving words, full bellies and loving affection?  We can be women who live out theses principles and Lord willing will be carried on through our third and fourth thousandth generations. Interested in joining me?  Come on girl!  We can do it together!

xoxo,

Sheb

Pause: Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (read it here).  What is God saying to you?

Ponder: Identify one of the three ways you will grow and implement for at least one week to send your family out daily into the world.

Petition: Tell Him. Listen. Do.